Sarcasm Saturday Week 10

I have one word for you: unbelievable. And I use that word lightly because I would rather use something far more foul, even though I hardly swear. The people closest to me can attest to that. However, to keep this site friendly, I won't say the many words swirling around my head.

Last night at my regular shift at the restaurant, I had very pleasant guests, probably because we weren't busy and I had a total of eight tables. However, a notoriously obnoxious crew mate did his best to grind my gears. I am going to call him Tom.

And to give further background on Tom, I will tell you that he is 50-years-old, divorced, as wide as a refrigerator, and loud as can be. Oh and a side note, he has a sugar mama. Now, when I say sugar mama, I mean sugar mama! He is always bragging about how his girl gave him $2,000 here and there or bought him some insanely expensive diamond watch.

To top it off, he walks around like he's big. Have you ever seen those guys that like to walk with their arms far out to the sides to mimic a strong stature? Well, that's him. He moves around like that all throughout the restaurant and just plows through the kitchen like a bus and we get knocked around. I'd like to knock him right out the door.

Last night, I was in charge of re-stocking the glasses, which was terrible only because I had a damn sofa pushing its way right through me. And at one point of the night, Tom walked a mile an hour in front of me so that I had to carry the glasses longer. Nice! What a jerk, I cannot stand people like him. This man has been fired on and off, but he weasels his way back in.

It's sad to say, but my restaurant is a boy's restaurant. Meaning, the boys can get away with a lot before anything happens to them. On the other hand, if a girl messes up, she usually gets one strike if she's lucky and then she's outta there!

I do have one nice thing to say on a Sarcasm Saturday, and that is...I don't work tonight! I managed to get the night off last minute so I could attend a film festival for the newspaper I work at. I will be going to a screening of "That Evening Sun." I met and interviewed one of the executive producers and could not describe how excited I am to be invited for the event tonight.

Don't be jealous. I will share all my V.I.P. party stories tomorrow and let you know how the screening went.

I'm off to the V.I.P. lounge. What a life, huh?

More fine things to come...

- Farah

Sarcasam Saturday Week 9

Once again Friday night dinner was slow, which I am not complaining about. Less crazy people, less biscuits I have to bring. Even though it was slow I didn't get to go home until about 10:30 p.m. so much for leaving early to do some work and maybe sleep.

Sleep. I wonder what that's like.

I guess I could call myself lucky with last night. Actually, I was pretty spoiled getting extra nice guests all night. Please keep you fingers crossed for me, I do not want a pleasant Friday to lead to a horrific Saturday.

I also had three separate tables ask me how I was doing after I did my intro. Who are these people? No one ever asks me how I am doing. They must have been from out of town, or of another species.

My only gripe was having one table consisting of a husband and wife, tow teenage daughters and a 4-year-old that was testing her lung strength.

While the couple drank about 10 Coors Light bottles, the youngest screamed so loud my ears rang for hours on end. They racked up a $190 tab, and left me less than five percent. Much too generous. I should have quit after that money-maker!

I am still standing, although my legs, feet and back, oh and the rest of my body ache in pain, and fear of tonight's adventures.

I wish you all well. Keep my in your thoughts.

More fine things to come...

- Farah

Sarcasm Saturday Week 8

This week was quite a tail spin, if I may say so. I got new exciting news at the paper I intern for, but I am still working at the exciting restaurant. We can't leave that just yet.

I have to say that last night was brutal. The dinner crowd was not even barging through the doors, but the ones that did come in had some mean in their jeans!

And literally, the jeans.

I had the pleasure of viewing more than anyone bargained for while eating at the restaurant, or in my case serving. It's a good thing I am not allowed to eat during my shift because I would have puked all over the dining room.

Aside form the tight denim and G-string action, the guests I had must have had a goal to tip under 10 percent and also make me feel like an ant. Speaking of ants, a fellow crew mate told me that I look like an ant when I carry gi-normous trays. I'm laughing on the inside.

At least I have survived one more week of waitress woes, although I wish it were my last.

Remember, it's OK to buy jeans in your actual size and regular underwear when you buy them two-sizes-too-small.

More fine things to come...

- Farah

A Great Poet Was in my Midst

I had the honor of hearing Jane Hirshfield speak last night at my university. I attended the small gathering with my graduate poetry workshop class. It was quite enjoyable and very relaxing. As some of you know, I am a grad student majoring in journalism, however this lovely poetry class is an elective this semester. It's my pride and joy for about four hours each Monday. Maybe I will share some of my poetry some time soon, we will see...

She shared some thoughts on the relationship between Zen and poetry, and then read some work from other writers she admires. Of course, she also read us some of her own poetry which was fascinating. I left the reading thinking how lucky I was to see her and hear her that night. How many of us get to say they enjoyed a poetry reading from one of the most renowned poets out there. Not many I assume.

I know I sometimes fly off the handle, especially on Saturdays for those of you that know me well; however, I wanted to say that there are times in our lives when we just need to drop everything no matter what and breathe.

Breathe the air around us, and breathe in all the good things we have in our life. I challenge you to take a breather as I have suggested and think about the good that is within you and around you.

This week, focus on the good rather than the bad. If you're really motivated, try to do it all week. I'm looking forward to the point where I can do this all the time. It would be my pleasure.

Jane Hirshfield said at the very end of her reading, "...because I wanted more. That's a good place to end this, with my naked poem." She read us a very short poem which she is working on now, and it focused on wanting more and just being yourself; i.e. your naked self.

In the same way, this is where I want to end, with my deep breath and because I wanted more, more in life. More good than bad.

More fine things to come...

- Farah

Sarcasm Saturday Week 7

Yes it's here again! The dreaded day after the Friday night dinner service at the restaurant. You may be very pleased to hear that not one guest ruffled my feathers this week, and that is very good news if you're in my shoes.

Instead, I had quite a scare with one of my first tables. I had an older couple seated in my section, and they were as sweet as can be. They come in almost every Friday night; so they're considered regulars to us. The woman was telling me that she was very hot from the start so I knew something was up.

Worried as I was, I kept checking on them to be sure everything was OK. A few minutes after I dropped off their food, she became very agitated in the booth they were sitting in. I immediately wrapped up all their food and got a cold compress for her because she was sweating quite a bit. Poor dear, she was having a rough day.

I made sure that their son came to pick them up since she didn't want to go to the hospital. However, one of my lovely crew mates decided to steal a table out of my section and proceeded to work it into her section. Who does that? Here I am helping this woman and my crew mate decides to be mischievous. So to help depict this you can view the lovely photo of the pretty flowers with the bees taking advantage. If that doesn't make sense I apologize; there wasn't much more of an option to illustrate my mood.

As for my fellow crew mate I say to thee, "How rude, indeed!"

More fine things to come...

- Farah