Sarcasm Saturday Week 3

I have so much built up anger from the dinner crowd last night that I was on the brink of self-destruction. I'm so glad that it's Sarcasm Saturday, otherwise I would have nowhere to vent my frustrations.

I won't go into too much detail about anything, because I will explode, hence my computer will explode, and we don't want that. First, I have to let all of you in on the fact that I was shorted more than $20 last night on multiple checks, plus, two tables stiffed me. Needless to say, last night was a bust and in my opinion a mere waste of time. I ended the night with a poor tip total for a Friday night and for my own standards.

The guests that left me $0 for a tip didn't have any complaints and all appeared to have a great time. So here is my theory: Only go out to eat if you have enough money to pay your bill and enough decency to tip your server properly. It's beyond me to ever imagine leaving the wrong amount for a check, let alone leaving nothing extra for a tip.

I know some people might say that I should have been more careful with the cash, but to be honest, there was nothing I could do. I had a full tray in my left hand which was balanced above my left shoulder. The guests handed me the check binder and I flipped it open slightly with my right hand to see if there was any money in there. It appeared to have the right amount and so I said "Thank you, have a great evening."

After bussing my tray in the dish room, I was shocked when closing the check. I had three tables pull this trick. Making sure I was busy with other tables and that I had my hands full, literally. It was only at these moments did they attempt to pay me. It's unfortunate and quite sad.

I have a piece of advice for those people that acted inappropriately last night: There are several McDonald chains in the area, they have a $1 menu and don't require the act of gratuity to the employees who serve you.

I have nothing against the clientele, but the fact that you ignore the general etiquette of tipping and paying for your meal is beyond me. Besides being cheated on payment, I had one unbelievable table that had the audacity to yell out "miss" and "hey you" every time I left the table to attend to someone else. First of all, I have name tag, and I introduce myself formally before I being waiting on any guest. So the need to yell other things at me is inexcusable. Also, yelling like you're at an outdoor sporting event in a fine family dining location is far from acceptable.

Those are stories for this week, and I stand by them 100 percent.

Food service is a nightmare at times. I rest my case.

More fine things to come...

- Farah

Farah's Fashion Finds

Although this knit top does not look traditional, I think it's extremely unique and quite fun. Isn't non-traditional the way to go? Of course classic pieces are a must for any wardrobe. However, all of us should have a few pieces in our closet that speak for themselves.

This top for instance is the polar opposite of a black tee, which is what I like about it. It has a fun use of bows and textures. I found this cute little number while browsing on http://www.frenchconnection.com/.

If you haven't browsed this site before, I highly recommend you take a few minutes and navigate pages of beautiful fashions.

What is even more fun than finding a new top? Accessories! I found these earrings on the French Connection Web site also. They have a classic shape and I like the vintage look. By

vintage I mean they don't scream too much modernism that you feel like your jewelery is trendy.

Also, big earrings can be obnoxious, but these seem to be the right size. Not too big, not too small. When in doubt about a new addition to your wardrobe, accessorize.

My shopping endeavors yesterday have sent me into a fashion frenzy!

Do you ever get a feeling that you wish you could have anything in the store? I get it occasionally but I usually overcome it by being realistic. Even if I could afford everything my heart desired, I don't think I would feel right spending an outrageous amount on the way I look. Rather, I would buy the classic pieces and a few fun things.

Fashion is a wonderful things, but we shouldn't let it take over our lives in the way that we dig financial holes. Shop wisely and enjoy yourself to a reasonable level.

Happy shopping!

More fine things to come...

- Farah

Sarcasm Sunday Week 2 (A Substitute for Saturday)

I'm back! OK, that was lame, but it's true. I am back and in better style I must say. I have recuperated a bit and also had some stress-free shopping yesterday. Needless to say, I am in better shape than previously mentioned in past entries.

I am also beginning to exercise again! I was once an above-average long distance runner and I am finally at the point where I can train again. Some of my goals are to run a few 5k races this summer and reach the level I was at before an unfortunate injury I endured a few years ago.

Enough about my hopes and dreams, here is some witty events from the past few days of serving.

Let the Sarcasm Begin...

Now correct me if I'm wrong, but it's OK to eat a lobster tail like a chicken wing, right? While some might say yes, it's actually far from proper dining etiquette. If you're enjoying a meal in the privacy of your own home, please by all means eat like a piglet if you please. However, if you're eating at a public restaurant, use proper discretion when chowing down on a $40 lobster meal.

The following is a dialogue verbatim from last night's dinner service:

Me: "Did you decide on an entree sir?"

Guest: "Uh, I have a question."

Me: "Sure, I can answer it for you."

Guest: "What's in this shrimp alfredo?"

(Side note in my mind - there's probably shrimp and alfredo sauce)

Me: "Sir, it has petite shrimps with linguini and garlic alfredo sauce."

Guest: "Eww, I'll just have fried shrimp."

Why do people ask questions that have obvious answers? The meal description was a no-brainer, but who am I to judge, I'm just the idiot waitress. I wish some of you could see the looks of surprise that come across the faces of my guests when they find out I'm a graduate student, and not a stumbling buffoon.

While it's not my life's ambition to be a waitress forever, some people have chosen this to be a career and that's fine. If you enjoy doing it and can stand the sometimes unexplainable treatment form guests, then I completely recommend it. All jokes aside, it's pretty good money most of the time. I am not sure how some people do this for a career because I am going on three years at eh same restaurant and am at my wit's end. I do know a woman who has been serving at the restaurant for more than 20 years. I admire her stealthy ambition to endure so many years of an unpredictable line of work.

I have survived yet another week of waitress life, and have lived to tell more tales.

More fine things to come...

- Farah

My Apologies

It's been two days since I have gotten the chance to write. I even missed my substitute Sarcasm Sunday, but let me tell you why briefly. 

I worked on assignments all day Saturday and ran errands with a friend. Then I worked from 3 p.m. Saturday night (valentine's dinner crowd) until 1 a.m. Sunday morning! Then I worked on finishing my homework on Sunday during the day until I had to go to work again at 3:45 p.m. and worked until midnight. I'm just a little tired and running low on sleep. food and a normal life.

Please forgive me, find in your heart if you can. I hope to return tomorrow with a fresh mind and more fine tings for you. I will be sharing a few stories for Week 2 Sarcasm Saturday this week. That's a promise!

Think happy and realizing thoughts.

More fine things to come...

Friday the 13th Full of Love

So as many may have realized, today is Friday the 13th...Ooooh! Are you scared? Well, you shouldn't be. Today could be no different than any other day. Although, I want to take a minute and say that everyone should take a moment of silence for the airplane crash in Buffalo. To my knowledge there was a woman on the plane who lost her husband in 9/11. Scary things do happen and we should all give the ones we love a big hug today, but not because Valentine's Day is coming up, but because every day should be a day of celebrating love.

OK. So, I promised a good story today and you're going to get one as promised. Five years ago today was the first Valentine's Day I spent with my husband and it was wonderful. I had a track meet that day too. I finished first in the mile race that I ran, only to have my college roommate delaying me from returning to my room afterwards. Hmmm, I should have been more suspicious.

Anyway, she finally gave me permission to walk back to the dorms and go to room. Well, to my surprise, there was a nice gift bag and rose petals at the foot of my bed. My then boyfriend got me a DVD of my favorite movie and promised a dinner together because we wouldn't be able to celebrate on the 14th. I enjoyed that simple gesture because it was thoughtful and not too outrageous.

My husband was a pitcher for the university's team and was scheduled to have a shoulder surgery on his pitching arm the next day. Hence, we aren't big fans of Valentine's Day. Honestly, I never was a big fan, because the whole day gets out of hand. I think people lose sight of the fact that they should express their love for friends and family all the time, not just on the 14th day of February.

Also, you can probably guess that the Feb. 14 is pretty damn busy at the restaurant, which is another reason I haven't been a fan recently. I will extra sassy stories about the naughty guests, don't you worry. As a side note, Sarcasm Saturday will technically be Sarcasm Sunday for this week only...or unless I change the rules again. I don't work a dinner shift tonight so the stories won't be that great, but tomorrow night will be a gold mine for insanity.

Even though I'm not Valentine's crazy, I wish you all a wonderful weekend and ask that you always treat the ones you love like they're special, not just because Hallmark told us to.

All for love, love for one.

More fine things to come...

- Farah

Another Long Day

Rocky may have been under the weather last week, but now it's my turn to feel yucky. It really is a shame because I have a tremendous amount of work to get done for school and my internship.

Enough on that. I am off to bed to recover and I promise a more enthusiastic persona for tomorrow, the very exciting Friday the 13th.

I have a loving story about it that involves surgery, but that's no the loving part. Read on tomorrow and you will see.

More fine things to come...

- Farah

Waiting in the Rain

Somewhere between a blizzard and a few flurries, the city now has a light blanket of rain. I'm not sure this will last, matter of fact, I know won't last. It's really too bad that I couldn't completely enjoy the warm weather the day began with because I was rudely blind-sided by a rainy afternoon.

It was 't just the rain, but the waiting in the rain that put me in a foul mood. My bus was "scheduled" (also a loosely used term) to come to my stop by 2 p.m. However, I was pleasantly surprised again to have it come at 2:20 p.m. Isn't that just swell?

So I am a little pissy today, I will admit that my fussiness got a bit out of hand once I had to stand on the bus while nobody moved over. Must I ask, where are the bus manners? Where is Rocky when I need him? Oh right, he's at home waiting for me to return.

Oh well, I have been home for a little while now and can't complain. Our water heater broke and someone came over to fix it, which is a relief. After all my woes for this Wednesday, I am extremely thankful for willing maintenance professionals that work with your schedule and fix the problem at hand. God bless you.

More fine things to come...

- Farah

Rocky & His Worries

I had a few instances today where the status of the economy slapped me in the face. And then I came home to find Rocky more excited than ever to see me. It's his carefree spirit that brought me back to Earth and out of my frustration. I know animals don't have financial woes like humans, but I bet that he has many worries.

For example, if I run out of treats without a back, does he think that I don't love him anymore? I would hate to think that he does, but if he doesn't get his daily treat his dog day could be ruined in his mind. Although dogs live in "the now" as Cesar Millan says on Dog Whisperer, but I know that deep down inside there are things that rattle him and may make him dwell a bit.

Whether or not the economy gets better, it doesn't matter to Rocky. When we are tight for money, we always make sure the cats and Rocky have enough of everything. They will be taken care of, but when I think about society I am not so sure.

Through all this financial muck, the fine thing I see is the innocence that is within my pets and the 'every day is a fresh day' attitude.

What would life be like if all we did was worry?

The answer is: It would be a horrible shame.

On that note, we should be thankful for what he have now and make preparations to keep the things we care about close to our hearts.

More fine things to come...

- Farah

This Monday With No End

I am about ready to embark on my last stop for the day. A rather long meeting that I wish I could skip, so I could go home and see my husband and Rocky, of course.

Oh well. Some days are meant for hair-pulling and dried out contacts. 

I wish I could send my make-believe double to the meeting so I could relax. Just wait, there will be a day when we all have proxies.

Still wishing.

More fine things to come...

- Farah

Pinot Grigio & a Warm Fire

After a lunch shift at the restaurant, I came home to enjoy a nice dinner by the crackling fire in my living room. I had to give thanks for having a roof over my head, food in my belly, a good pup waiting for me, and a hard-working husband to come home to.

We had a few glasses of pinot grigio, my favorite vino, while we sat by the fire with Rocky. I really do like wine, it is very flavorful and quite tasty once you find the type you prefer. You must look into that also, if you're not an avid wine enthusiast. Rocky has been enjoying a braided rawhide bone for about two hours now, he pretty much has his night planned out.

It's time to start another week again tomorrow. I will be finished with this master's degree in journalism by the end of June, and I can't wait! I have to take time and realize how lucky I am to be educated and have the opportunity to write.

8:21 p.m. - Rocky has fallen sleep with his treat and I feel a nice calm come over me now. The serenity may have something to do with the pinot grigio, but you never can tell.

What a fine thing it is to feel a few minutes of relaxation in the comfort of a loving home...I hope you feel that too. I have an episode of The Office playing int he background too, my favorite show, you will probably here a lot about.

Note to self, become a fan of The Office, it is awesome. I believe they had a "Finer Things Club," it was very exclusive.

More fine things to come...

- Farah

Sarcasm Saturday Week 1

I think it is suitable to have at least one day a week where we can vent for a little bit. Needless to say, here is my venting loud and proud. To let all readers know, this will become a weekly theme which will continue on Saturdays.

I work at a restaurant, and have worked at the same company for almost 3 years, but in two states. Anyway, there have been times when guests that I have served throw me into a state of shock with their manners. I guess people forget that I am a human being with feelings and that what they say and do can be hurtful. So for those reasons I will share a few incidents that make me want to give up on humanity once and for all.

RUN, BABY RUN

I had a group of six women the other night who came in to enjoy some dinner together, sounds nice right? Wrong! I had the pleasure of running mile after mile around this table and the restaurant for their every beckon call, it was a thrill that lead to no payback.

I had one lady rolling her eyes at me constantly because the menu was not to her liking, you know...because I made the menu and the prices. Well, although that is clearly not in my job description, she took it out on me anyway to most likely excuse her behavior and her 2 percent tip.

Besides "rolly eyes" there was another lady who wanted to look and sound extra delicate by talking softer than a mime, no joke! I had to repeat my questions and ask her to repeat, heaven forbid I mess up the order and get an extra eye roll from her buddy.

Lastly, there was another woman at the table who ordered the same dish as her friend next to her. According to her expert cuisine knowledge, her friend's dish looked and tasted better than hers did. Wasn't that nice of her to complain and then eat her friend's dinner also? I thought so too.

On the same night, I had the pleasure of having a "gentleman" (I use that term loosely) say to me, "Get me some lemons now." I was shocked, and replied, "Sir, would you like some extra lemons?" Only to have him repeat himself rudely again. We went back and forth two more times until he finally said, "Oh yeah, please."

I DIGRESS

Isn't that sweet? I love when people need several reminders to act in a civil manner, it really is lovely.

OK, so the moral of the story, and the fine thing that I can scrounge from this is that these incidents remind me that I am lucky to meet some nice people here and there. Also, I hope that my witty banter helps people realize that it's not cool to treat food service employees like the cigarette you smashed under your heel before entering the restaurant.

Enough sarcasm for today.

More fine things to come...

- Farah

Pup Under the Weather

Rocky and I just came inside, I sat at my computer and he sat at my feet. All of sudden he made a terrible gurgling noise and could you guess...he threw up the better half of his Beneful breakfast. Sorry to gross anyone out, but it was awful. Before I commenced clean-up I went to his side to make sure he was OK.

I can't ever be mad at him for doing something like this, it's not the first time obviously. However many times he feels yucky and needs to send something up the shoot, I would never get to the point of being upset.

I worked for a wonderful place called Sparkles Fantastik Animal Rescue, and it re-affirmed my faith in animals and what they mean to the world. The rescue was in Pueblo, Colo. and I worked there after volunteering. The volunteering got addicting. I had to keep coming back and seeing the progress of sick animals and if any of them got adopted. Not to mention, the staff there is amazing and I haven't lost touch with those people or animals.


Rocky lived at that rescue for about seven years of his life, and he finally moved on and into my home. It's little success stories like his, that make the field of rescue worth every tough medical condition, dog scuffle or puddle of pee.

One of my favorite moments at he clinic was when a 9-year-old female Pit Bull was adopted. I must take a little credit for the adoption because I was showing the dogs available for adoption to a young woman and her son. They wanted an older dog that wouldn't need a lot of puppy training. Even though some may have thought that Darla, the longtime rescue resident would never be adopted, I always had faith because she is an excellent dog. Darla put on a show like no other that day and won the family's heart without a doubt. She was on her back getting her belly rubbed, when the woman said this was the dog.

Although it was hard to say goodbye to Darla, she needed to move on and have her own family, just like Rocky. I think that's why I feel little anger when Rocky makes a little mess here and there. Rocky has been a companion and a new sense of security when my husband is away.

Why should care about a stain that needs cleaning up, when Rocky has become a loyal and loving spirit in my life? Today's upset tummy will be easily fixed with a little spot cleaner. No harm done here.

More fine things to come...

- Farah

Paw Prints in the Snow

Winter is my least favorite season, but it does have a special place in my heart. The driveway was blanketed with the familiar dusty sheet a few months ago, and I knew that a long snowy season was ahead. Instead of huffing and puffing, tears gathered in my eyes and I had to stand back from my grief and soak in a fine moment that God blessed me with.

To my winter surprise, there were tiny little paw prints on the drive. They must have belonged to a kitten less than a month old. The prints were so tiny and so intricate, that they looked like they came from a stamp stencil. Besides the cute shape they made, there was a young innocence in then. This kitten may have been separated from its mother and now on it's on its own for good or for bad.

My animal-loving instinct made me run inside to get a plate of cat food for this lone ranger that could be taking up quarters just outside my home. Later that day, the world made me take another breather again so I could appreciate another precious soul close to me.

I took my 9-year-old Rottweiler outside so he could use the facilities in the backyard before the air turned too cold for his liking. Rocky walked at my side and went to through the gate to the backyard with a quiet swagger. I turned back to walk up the drive when my heart warmed through the chilly air. Rocky's paw prints stamped the snow alongside the young kitten's. His gargantuan prints made the kitten's look like faint patters in the powdery snow. Even though his prints were bigger and had some more life to them, his shined an innocence too, but a different kind. Rocky's prints gave voice to a dog that has been through quite a life. His innocence shows because he is 9 years old, but now living like a puppy.

Rocky has only been mine for about eight months, and he has been a treasure. Some other time I will better explain how Rocky and I came to being lifelong friends. For now, I will say that he is a wonderful dog with a heart bigger than the sky.

More fine things to come...

- Farah