Sarcasm Saturday Week 15

Coming soon!

Sarcasm Saturday Week 14

Although most of you enjoy my wise-ass remarks on Saturday, I must confess that there isn't much to report because I didn't end up working last night. I had quite a long day before my shift, but I went to work despite my nauseous feelings I had.

I arrived at work to have my boss ask me why my shirt was wrinkled, so I reply:

"I'm sorry, but I had to choose between ironing my shirt and throwing up," I said.

"Why didn't you call off?"

(Now, this is a dumb question because all of us good servers are scared to call off because we get the third degree every time.)

"It was past the 2-hour mark sir," I said.

"Yeah, well you look pale, go home," he said as he handed me my check-in sheet.

Saved by the puke! I got to go home and finished my porcelain meeting. It was very important. My sweet husband brought me some Sierra Mist and some rice and dry chicken so I could hopefully hold down the fort. And for those that care, I did hold it down finally around 8 o'clock.

No more yucky details. I'm off to work again tonight at 3:45, the magic hour at the restaurant.

More fine things to come...

- Farah

Sarcasm Saturday Week 13

I have two words for you: no stress. Can you believe it? I actually had a Friday night with no stress from crazy guests. The only gripe I have is that we were so slow that the night did drag on for much longer than I would have liked.

I felt like a delicate butterfly. Well, maybe not exactly like that, but it was nice. Aside from my feet aching from sloshing around the restaurant aimlessly, it was alright.


Even though last night was pretty worry-free, you know what that means, right?


It means tonight could be doomed! I already received a call from the general manager asking me to come in an hour early since another college is graduating this weekend, it might be crazy, he said.


Sounds like a joy, and I can't wait. Not.


Anyway, for all those that are enjoying a non-serving weekend, please take an extra few minutes to think of me in my terrible time of need. I dream of the day that I won't work there anymore.


Have some pinot grigio for me!


More fine things to come...

- Farah

Farah Graduates

I did it again! I graduated May 10 with my master's degree in journalism. It was quite funny to me, mostly because I just finished my undergraduate study last May. It was a quick year, but the program was tough.

I'm happy to report that I am still standing and if I may say so, a little bit proud of my achievement.

The following is an account of the momentous occasion:

On the crisp morning of May 10 my close friend Toni arrived at my Syracuse home around 7 a.m. to give me a fabulous graduation do. After my hair was curled and ready, I rushed to slip on my light yellow dress and some 3-inch black heels.

Knowing full and well that I had to get through security checks at the Carrier Dome by 9 a.m., I proceeded up Irving Avenue at 9:05 a.m. Curling hair takes a good amount of time, if you do it right of course.

With my master’s hood from the S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications and black cap in hand, I ran up Irving Avenue and then up many steps to the dome. Remember the black heels.

I managed to wave to the three secret servicemen as I hustled to the main security gates. They whispered into their wrists, "Biden en route," as I sprinted by.

Telling me that I just made it, I passed through without a problem and made my way into the dome to join a few other Newhouse classmates.

I finally caught my breath and felt a little relieved, but only for a moment because the excitement of graduating from Syracuse University with a master’s degree in journalism was beginning to kick in.

The procession for the 155th commencement of Syracuse University began promptly at 9:30 a.m. I walked and waved with students of an array of master’s programs. Miraculously, I spotted my husband within the hundreds of faces that were smiling at all of us.

I made my way to my seat as I found myself sitting in the third row from the stage. That’s right; I was a mere 15 or 20 feet away form where the vice president of the United States would be sitting.

After the university chancellor spoke along with a few other scholars, it was time to hear the commencement speech. Vice President Joe Biden opened with a few light-hearted notes as he warmed up the dome.

He gave us a brief history on what it was like to be a student in the college of law and what the outlook was like back then. According to many tragic accounts, the country was suffering the loss of Martin Luther King Jr. and Robert Kennedy, two heroes of Biden.

Much like today, we are faced with war, an economic crisis, environmental issues plauging the future and so many more hardships. Although the general public may agree that these are dire times and probably the worse times to "think big," Biden said it is the perfect time.

I definitely agree. Like many other graduates sitting in the dome Sunday I am on the cusp of a new beginning with a gathering of knowledge and inspiration. Why should we feel like there is no light in near future?

Biden said it many times on Sunday, he is optimistic, and so am I. If we think tomorrow is lost, then what are we doing here? The world is only what we make of it, and if we aren’t making the most of it and working toward what we desire in life, then we may as well just give up.

The talk of the economy has become a constant jabber of statistics and personal testimony, but has the economy ever been perfect? Absolutely not. However, we are no becoming accustomed to blaming the economy for every bad thing that has happened in the last year. I honestly can’t remember what we blamed our problems on before the economy hitch.

Don’t get me wrong, the world is struggling economically as a whole, some places worse than others, but we’re still plugging away and until everything shuts down we should continue to push forward.

People are still furthering their education, like many of us proved Sunday, and others around the world are continuing to buy and sell property, try new occupations and start families. If these events are still happening, we shouldn’t lose hope in a brighter tomorrow for everyone.

More than any other time he has given a commencement speech, Biden said that on Sunday he felt that the graduating class sitting before him was going to truly be a part of the change he and President Barack Obama believe in.

Proud to be one of those sitting before the vice president, I will solemnly do my best to do my part, big or small, in putting the pieces of the American outlook back together.

Congratulations to all the graduates of 2009.

More fine things to come...

- Farah

Sarcasm Monday (A Substitute for Saturday) Week 12

This week was special in the matter that I was attracting "special" people to my table station at the restaurant. And by special I mean incapable of understanding laws or rules. This rare breed tested my patience and my tolerance for stupidity. Sounds like a fun crowd, right? WRONG!

This weekend is graduation and does call for some celebration but not to the point where you and your relatives will be arrested after refusing to comply with a law, an obvious law for that.

So, Friday night I have a mother and father and their two young daughters and the older one's boyfriend. Everyone starts ordering form the pretty bar menu (it's very colorful and alluring, yes) but the girls look so young that I card them and the boyfriend.

The boyfriend hands over his identification and he passes, he's 24 years old. However, the one that looks like she is 16 said she can't find it...so obviously I don't let her order a bar drink. Next, the girl who looks a little older fished through her purse only to tell me that she must have forgot it.

"Sorry, I can't serve you an alcoholic drink," I told the girl.

"But she's graduating this weekend, she's 22," the mother tells me.

"It doesn't matter, I need to check for ID when someone looks under 30 years old."

"But I'm graduating, and my parents are here," the girl said.

"Still, I can't serve you, it's a law and a policy. You and your parents could be arrested and I would lose my job."

"Well we wouldn't want you to lose your job," the mother said with a grin.

After this monotonous conversation, the mother proceeded to order to bar drinks. Hmmm, what do you think that means? Also, I would like to point out that I'm graduating this weekend with my master's...big deal! I wouldn't be able to act like this annoying family either, no matter where I went. I look very young for my age, and believe me I would be carded as well. However, I wouldn't put up a fight if I forgot my license.

I drop the drinks off at the table, and wouldn't you know the stupid family passed each drink that was ordered over to the snippy graduate. Are you serious? No, I'm sorry, are you stupid?

The family thought they were sticking it to me, when the general manager found out what was happening and went over to the table as the two young girls were sipping the drinks.

If you can't guess, the family was insanely rude after that and the drum roll please....a $4 tip for the $150 tab and rude remarks!

Don't be jealous, this is my luxurious life that no one can match. I will recover though, I graduate tomorrow, and if I want a fancy beverage I will remember to bring my license.

What a concept that is.

More fine things to come...

- Farah

Sarcasm Saturday Week 11

Let me paint you a picture:

There is a waitress, a table of four and another table of two.

The waitress, although using her best "waitress smile," is being subjected to high class and dumb questions.

The table of four, consisting of three women and one man, are making it a goal to keep me on my tinytoes. The table of two was two older ladies probably in their 60s. They were very sweet and aware of the situation only inches away from them.

If you couldn't tell, the waitress is me. So, let's cut to the chase, shall we?

I'm finally trying to get a drink order for the fab four when they want to see the lobster tank, which I show them.

"How much is a 2lb lobster?"

"Well, it's between $40 and $50 depending on what else you get."

"I ain't pain' for no $50 lobster. We're not ready."

Keep in mind, I didn't even say my name, or get to ask what they wanted to drink because of the stupid questions. By the way, lobster isn't free.

So, I proceed to get the two ladies started, while "rude beyond rude" says, "Um, excuse me mam aren't you supposed to take our salads orders?"

I excuse myself from the two ladies and try to explain it like they're 5, which is mean because there are 5 year old kids smarter than this.

"Well, we usually take down your order after you get a beverage."

"Oh OK, I was just checking."

After this, I wanted to be so grateful that these people wanted to look out for me and make sure I was doing my job right. Isn't that sweet? No, it isn't.

People like this make me hate this job and make me less fond of the human race.

One last note on this table before I burst in fury: A classic tough table clue is obvious when they ask for a cup of hot water to sanitize their silverware...you know, because theirs is so much cleaner at home.

I rest my tired and worn out case.

More fine things to come.

- Farah

Sarcasm Saturday Week 10

I have one word for you: unbelievable. And I use that word lightly because I would rather use something far more foul, even though I hardly swear. The people closest to me can attest to that. However, to keep this site friendly, I won't say the many words swirling around my head.

Last night at my regular shift at the restaurant, I had very pleasant guests, probably because we weren't busy and I had a total of eight tables. However, a notoriously obnoxious crew mate did his best to grind my gears. I am going to call him Tom.

And to give further background on Tom, I will tell you that he is 50-years-old, divorced, as wide as a refrigerator, and loud as can be. Oh and a side note, he has a sugar mama. Now, when I say sugar mama, I mean sugar mama! He is always bragging about how his girl gave him $2,000 here and there or bought him some insanely expensive diamond watch.

To top it off, he walks around like he's big. Have you ever seen those guys that like to walk with their arms far out to the sides to mimic a strong stature? Well, that's him. He moves around like that all throughout the restaurant and just plows through the kitchen like a bus and we get knocked around. I'd like to knock him right out the door.

Last night, I was in charge of re-stocking the glasses, which was terrible only because I had a damn sofa pushing its way right through me. And at one point of the night, Tom walked a mile an hour in front of me so that I had to carry the glasses longer. Nice! What a jerk, I cannot stand people like him. This man has been fired on and off, but he weasels his way back in.

It's sad to say, but my restaurant is a boy's restaurant. Meaning, the boys can get away with a lot before anything happens to them. On the other hand, if a girl messes up, she usually gets one strike if she's lucky and then she's outta there!

I do have one nice thing to say on a Sarcasm Saturday, and that is...I don't work tonight! I managed to get the night off last minute so I could attend a film festival for the newspaper I work at. I will be going to a screening of "That Evening Sun." I met and interviewed one of the executive producers and could not describe how excited I am to be invited for the event tonight.

Don't be jealous. I will share all my V.I.P. party stories tomorrow and let you know how the screening went.

I'm off to the V.I.P. lounge. What a life, huh?

More fine things to come...

- Farah

Sarcasam Saturday Week 9

Once again Friday night dinner was slow, which I am not complaining about. Less crazy people, less biscuits I have to bring. Even though it was slow I didn't get to go home until about 10:30 p.m. so much for leaving early to do some work and maybe sleep.

Sleep. I wonder what that's like.

I guess I could call myself lucky with last night. Actually, I was pretty spoiled getting extra nice guests all night. Please keep you fingers crossed for me, I do not want a pleasant Friday to lead to a horrific Saturday.

I also had three separate tables ask me how I was doing after I did my intro. Who are these people? No one ever asks me how I am doing. They must have been from out of town, or of another species.

My only gripe was having one table consisting of a husband and wife, tow teenage daughters and a 4-year-old that was testing her lung strength.

While the couple drank about 10 Coors Light bottles, the youngest screamed so loud my ears rang for hours on end. They racked up a $190 tab, and left me less than five percent. Much too generous. I should have quit after that money-maker!

I am still standing, although my legs, feet and back, oh and the rest of my body ache in pain, and fear of tonight's adventures.

I wish you all well. Keep my in your thoughts.

More fine things to come...

- Farah

Sarcasm Saturday Week 8

This week was quite a tail spin, if I may say so. I got new exciting news at the paper I intern for, but I am still working at the exciting restaurant. We can't leave that just yet.

I have to say that last night was brutal. The dinner crowd was not even barging through the doors, but the ones that did come in had some mean in their jeans!

And literally, the jeans.

I had the pleasure of viewing more than anyone bargained for while eating at the restaurant, or in my case serving. It's a good thing I am not allowed to eat during my shift because I would have puked all over the dining room.

Aside form the tight denim and G-string action, the guests I had must have had a goal to tip under 10 percent and also make me feel like an ant. Speaking of ants, a fellow crew mate told me that I look like an ant when I carry gi-normous trays. I'm laughing on the inside.

At least I have survived one more week of waitress woes, although I wish it were my last.

Remember, it's OK to buy jeans in your actual size and regular underwear when you buy them two-sizes-too-small.

More fine things to come...

- Farah

A Great Poet Was in my Midst

I had the honor of hearing Jane Hirshfield speak last night at my university. I attended the small gathering with my graduate poetry workshop class. It was quite enjoyable and very relaxing. As some of you know, I am a grad student majoring in journalism, however this lovely poetry class is an elective this semester. It's my pride and joy for about four hours each Monday. Maybe I will share some of my poetry some time soon, we will see...

She shared some thoughts on the relationship between Zen and poetry, and then read some work from other writers she admires. Of course, she also read us some of her own poetry which was fascinating. I left the reading thinking how lucky I was to see her and hear her that night. How many of us get to say they enjoyed a poetry reading from one of the most renowned poets out there. Not many I assume.

I know I sometimes fly off the handle, especially on Saturdays for those of you that know me well; however, I wanted to say that there are times in our lives when we just need to drop everything no matter what and breathe.

Breathe the air around us, and breathe in all the good things we have in our life. I challenge you to take a breather as I have suggested and think about the good that is within you and around you.

This week, focus on the good rather than the bad. If you're really motivated, try to do it all week. I'm looking forward to the point where I can do this all the time. It would be my pleasure.

Jane Hirshfield said at the very end of her reading, "...because I wanted more. That's a good place to end this, with my naked poem." She read us a very short poem which she is working on now, and it focused on wanting more and just being yourself; i.e. your naked self.

In the same way, this is where I want to end, with my deep breath and because I wanted more, more in life. More good than bad.

More fine things to come...

- Farah

Sarcasm Saturday Week 7

Yes it's here again! The dreaded day after the Friday night dinner service at the restaurant. You may be very pleased to hear that not one guest ruffled my feathers this week, and that is very good news if you're in my shoes.

Instead, I had quite a scare with one of my first tables. I had an older couple seated in my section, and they were as sweet as can be. They come in almost every Friday night; so they're considered regulars to us. The woman was telling me that she was very hot from the start so I knew something was up.

Worried as I was, I kept checking on them to be sure everything was OK. A few minutes after I dropped off their food, she became very agitated in the booth they were sitting in. I immediately wrapped up all their food and got a cold compress for her because she was sweating quite a bit. Poor dear, she was having a rough day.

I made sure that their son came to pick them up since she didn't want to go to the hospital. However, one of my lovely crew mates decided to steal a table out of my section and proceeded to work it into her section. Who does that? Here I am helping this woman and my crew mate decides to be mischievous. So to help depict this you can view the lovely photo of the pretty flowers with the bees taking advantage. If that doesn't make sense I apologize; there wasn't much more of an option to illustrate my mood.

As for my fellow crew mate I say to thee, "How rude, indeed!"

More fine things to come...

- Farah

Sarcasm Saturday Week 6

For those that have read my past entries for Sarcasm Saturdays, you know that Friday nights at the restaurant usually fuel my fire for today. However, many of you may be pleased to find out that not one guest treated me with disrespect. Shocking, I know.

With that in mind, my only shred of sarcasm that I have to give today would be that one of my fellow crewmates constantly sang and rapped off key all night, it was terrible!

Also, not so surprisingly, I was salad bar sidework again for the third weekend in a row, whi5 was torture. We weren't all that busy last night so I figured I wouldn't be stressed, but you know how that probably turned out.

Despite those few things there isn't much to gripe about, I apologize to anyone that was disappointed. Enjoy your Saturday, because I won't, I will be at the restaurant once again, unhappily ever after.

More fine things to come...

- Farah

Do you feel like you're spiraling out of control?

Well, I do at some point in my sassy little life. However. I am not going to whine about anything because there are far worse things than to have too much to do, than not enough or nothing at all.

Instead of grumbling I would like to look at the finer side of things as this self-published blog boasts quite well. I have been juggling school, work and internships, oh and my life, for the past four years and it has made me a stronger person, i have split myself between all the duties in my life and also have found a few moments to enjoy things that I like in life.

I am currently working on a petition if you will, and it's so close to my heart that a few tears collect when I talk about it. Lucky for you, no tears will be seen through a blog. I volunteered for an animal rescue as a 'thank you' for a scholarship that I was awarded for my undergraduate studies in Colorado. However, after the 40 hours were completed, I was hooked! I had to keep coming back and taking care of those precious animals.

Dogs and cat alike, they are still dear to my heart, and of course those that have read earlier know that my rottweiler Rocky lived there for about 7 years of his life until I brought him to New York with me. I miss the rescue and the clinic so much, but I keep in touch all the time, and this petition is part of my continued devotion.

I will be working on a petition to talk about what the clinic/rescue does and what it has been doing for almost 12 years. Also, the Southern Colorado Spay and Neuter Clinic is falling into hard times because they are trying to stay low cost during these tough economic climate. And for those that are interested the rescue is called The Sparkles Fantastik Animal Rescue. It was named after a lovely cat names Sparkles Fantastik who lived for many years with only three legs and an endearing cataracts.

There will be plenty of progress on this to follow so that everyone can take a gander on what it's like to offer something to people that love their animals or want to bring an animal into their life.

Lastly, a photo of Rocky will be included in the near future so everyone can see my handsome pup. He is handsome beyond words.

More fine things to come...

- Farah

Sarcasm Saturday Week 5

I have two words for you: drawn butter.

Yes, those are the words of the day. To be more specific they were the words that I screamed from the top of my tiny lungs as I cleaned my last table at the restaurant.

It was almost midnight and not more than a few more servers crept throughout the restaurant as I began to clean and reset my final table. And what's this? To my surprise I uncovered what my table was trying to cover up.


Dismayed, I screamed, "drawn butter!"

My tired hands peeled back five coasters and a soggy pineapple wedge left over from a pina colada as I found a large souflee cup spilled. It contained drawn butter.

The butter was increasingly hard to remove from the smooth finish of the table. I grumbled and griped as I unearthed another travesty. A spilled glass of Coca Cola lying in the booth.

"Why?" I cried loudly.

I continued to pick up the half melted ice cubes as I vacuumed the floor ad wiped the table one more time. My life felt as if it was ending. To be truthful, I wouldn't have been as mad, had the guests notified me of their spills. In that way, I could have cleaned them up when they first happened.

But why would they tell me? It was more fun for them to imagine how funny it would be for me to find it at midnight.

Once again I am shocked by the blatant disregard people have for the simple waitress.

Woe is me.

Had the guests been the cute kitten in the photo I attached, we wouldn't be having this conversation.

More fine things to come...

- Farah

Sarcasm Saturday Week 4

Yes it's Saturday, and you know what that means. It's the big day you have been waiting for!

Enough silly banter for now, I am going to share a few stories from the good old restaurant.

One group of winners came in during Wednesday night dinner service. One of the women in the group was wearing a hot pink T-shirt that read, "I'm not fat, I'm knocked up." I know I don't even have to say it, but she was extra classy. If you couldn't guess, she was extremely rude and had little to no manners while she scarfed down crab legs and yelled at her young son.

One more great one and off to bed. Just kidding. It would be silly to go to bed at 1:30 in the afternoon. Unless your name is Rocky.

I had a young girl turning 15 last night and she designed her own cake and insisted on telling me about it. She also yelled out my name several times and then pointed to her glass that was running low on cherry Sprite. I thought that was very polite. Yell my name, point at your glass, roll your eyes, it's all gold.

OK, I think I have spent my grief enough for this week. I go back to school on Monday, and I am not thrilled. However, I am getting very close to finishing my master's degree and that is a wonderful thing.

Enjoy your weekend wherever you are and in whatever you are doing.

More fine things to come...

- Farah

How About Some Fashion on Friday?

I am still riding my rude-free streak thanks to the polite guests I had this week. But not so fast, I still have to work the dinner crowd tonight and tomorrow.

For now, I want to leave you with these pleasant images of pretty dresses from the French Connection. Ooh la la.

Enjoy the sights and visit their site if you didn't like my picks for your taste.

More fine things to come...

- Farah

Some of the Animals in my Life

Oh what to do, Rocky has found a new fear, and a peculiar one if you ask me. He has become tense around the recently used fireplace. It has been a treat to have one through this blistery winter, but rocky doesn't appreciate the crackle of the fire one bit.

I thought he would love it, maybe even sleep by it, but I was wrong. My first cat I ever had, her name was Malachi, loved to sleep near fireplaces and the vents around the house. We called it 'sunbathing,' because she would stretch out and warm up her little furry body. I would get worried at times because she would literally feel like a burning log next to the fireplace. She was like a baby turkey sausage roasting herself by the fire.

Oh memories. Malachi was sweet cat and I miss her dearly. Her death was very sad, mostly because a little boy mishandled her and killed her. Tragic and scary I know, but be glad you didn't witness the state she was in after it had happened. I can only hope that little boy (he was only 5) got some help, because many children that torture animals develop more aggressive problems in the future.

I had no Sarcasm Saturday last week, because to be truthful, not one of my guests or other people I run into in life were rude to me. Must have been an off week. I'm only kidding about the off week. God must have been blessing me with a stress-free work week.

Thank God for his many blessings. It is Lent right now, and maybe that helped my feeling to restrain myself from being sarcastic last week.

Enjoy this gloriously cold day (it's cold over here at least) and be sure to watch The Office tonight.

More fine things to come...

- Farah

Great Fashion Find

After my big exam today, I decided to browse some new styles on the Web. Maybe my good feeling after the test means I deserve some shopping, don't you agree?

I was looking all over and then opened my e-mail and found a message from Piperlime, so I started to look at the spring line when I found the cutest shoes. Well their heels, but they're hot and I recommend taking a peak at the Piperlime Web site.

Check it out!

More fine things to come...

- Farah

What Are Tests Good For?

I am going bald while studying for this media law exam I have tomorrow. My textbook is the size of an encyclopedia and has created a dent in my lap as I read it, and re-read it. As a student of this fine journalism program I am at liberty to know the law of the media and the terms in which I should report and write.

While I understand the importance of this, I cannot help but be a little grouchy about the situation. I am privileged to have a Yale law alumnus teaching me the way of the law, but my brain has not yet been trained to comprehend certain areas of this field. There is a reason I am not in law school, and I have made it more clear to myself than ever before.

Even though I am in a twist of confusion at times, I have to admit that I am enjoying my new gain of knowledge. I even feel a little clever when I can recite a summary of an important case and explain why it is important to the history of media law.

If you're in a legal mood, pick up The First Amendment and The Fourth Estate. One of the three authors is my professor, so I really have to know my stuff. He wrote parts of the book for God's sake.

I'm off to figure out how to study some more between my internship and work today. Tomorrow at 9:30 a.m. ET, wish me luck. I may need it.

More fine things to come...

- Farah

Sarcasm Saturday Week 3

I have so much built up anger from the dinner crowd last night that I was on the brink of self-destruction. I'm so glad that it's Sarcasm Saturday, otherwise I would have nowhere to vent my frustrations.

I won't go into too much detail about anything, because I will explode, hence my computer will explode, and we don't want that. First, I have to let all of you in on the fact that I was shorted more than $20 last night on multiple checks, plus, two tables stiffed me. Needless to say, last night was a bust and in my opinion a mere waste of time. I ended the night with a poor tip total for a Friday night and for my own standards.

The guests that left me $0 for a tip didn't have any complaints and all appeared to have a great time. So here is my theory: Only go out to eat if you have enough money to pay your bill and enough decency to tip your server properly. It's beyond me to ever imagine leaving the wrong amount for a check, let alone leaving nothing extra for a tip.

I know some people might say that I should have been more careful with the cash, but to be honest, there was nothing I could do. I had a full tray in my left hand which was balanced above my left shoulder. The guests handed me the check binder and I flipped it open slightly with my right hand to see if there was any money in there. It appeared to have the right amount and so I said "Thank you, have a great evening."

After bussing my tray in the dish room, I was shocked when closing the check. I had three tables pull this trick. Making sure I was busy with other tables and that I had my hands full, literally. It was only at these moments did they attempt to pay me. It's unfortunate and quite sad.

I have a piece of advice for those people that acted inappropriately last night: There are several McDonald chains in the area, they have a $1 menu and don't require the act of gratuity to the employees who serve you.

I have nothing against the clientele, but the fact that you ignore the general etiquette of tipping and paying for your meal is beyond me. Besides being cheated on payment, I had one unbelievable table that had the audacity to yell out "miss" and "hey you" every time I left the table to attend to someone else. First of all, I have name tag, and I introduce myself formally before I being waiting on any guest. So the need to yell other things at me is inexcusable. Also, yelling like you're at an outdoor sporting event in a fine family dining location is far from acceptable.

Those are stories for this week, and I stand by them 100 percent.

Food service is a nightmare at times. I rest my case.

More fine things to come...

- Farah

Farah's Fashion Finds

Although this knit top does not look traditional, I think it's extremely unique and quite fun. Isn't non-traditional the way to go? Of course classic pieces are a must for any wardrobe. However, all of us should have a few pieces in our closet that speak for themselves.

This top for instance is the polar opposite of a black tee, which is what I like about it. It has a fun use of bows and textures. I found this cute little number while browsing on http://www.frenchconnection.com/.

If you haven't browsed this site before, I highly recommend you take a few minutes and navigate pages of beautiful fashions.

What is even more fun than finding a new top? Accessories! I found these earrings on the French Connection Web site also. They have a classic shape and I like the vintage look. By

vintage I mean they don't scream too much modernism that you feel like your jewelery is trendy.

Also, big earrings can be obnoxious, but these seem to be the right size. Not too big, not too small. When in doubt about a new addition to your wardrobe, accessorize.

My shopping endeavors yesterday have sent me into a fashion frenzy!

Do you ever get a feeling that you wish you could have anything in the store? I get it occasionally but I usually overcome it by being realistic. Even if I could afford everything my heart desired, I don't think I would feel right spending an outrageous amount on the way I look. Rather, I would buy the classic pieces and a few fun things.

Fashion is a wonderful things, but we shouldn't let it take over our lives in the way that we dig financial holes. Shop wisely and enjoy yourself to a reasonable level.

Happy shopping!

More fine things to come...

- Farah

Sarcasm Sunday Week 2 (A Substitute for Saturday)

I'm back! OK, that was lame, but it's true. I am back and in better style I must say. I have recuperated a bit and also had some stress-free shopping yesterday. Needless to say, I am in better shape than previously mentioned in past entries.

I am also beginning to exercise again! I was once an above-average long distance runner and I am finally at the point where I can train again. Some of my goals are to run a few 5k races this summer and reach the level I was at before an unfortunate injury I endured a few years ago.

Enough about my hopes and dreams, here is some witty events from the past few days of serving.

Let the Sarcasm Begin...

Now correct me if I'm wrong, but it's OK to eat a lobster tail like a chicken wing, right? While some might say yes, it's actually far from proper dining etiquette. If you're enjoying a meal in the privacy of your own home, please by all means eat like a piglet if you please. However, if you're eating at a public restaurant, use proper discretion when chowing down on a $40 lobster meal.

The following is a dialogue verbatim from last night's dinner service:

Me: "Did you decide on an entree sir?"

Guest: "Uh, I have a question."

Me: "Sure, I can answer it for you."

Guest: "What's in this shrimp alfredo?"

(Side note in my mind - there's probably shrimp and alfredo sauce)

Me: "Sir, it has petite shrimps with linguini and garlic alfredo sauce."

Guest: "Eww, I'll just have fried shrimp."

Why do people ask questions that have obvious answers? The meal description was a no-brainer, but who am I to judge, I'm just the idiot waitress. I wish some of you could see the looks of surprise that come across the faces of my guests when they find out I'm a graduate student, and not a stumbling buffoon.

While it's not my life's ambition to be a waitress forever, some people have chosen this to be a career and that's fine. If you enjoy doing it and can stand the sometimes unexplainable treatment form guests, then I completely recommend it. All jokes aside, it's pretty good money most of the time. I am not sure how some people do this for a career because I am going on three years at eh same restaurant and am at my wit's end. I do know a woman who has been serving at the restaurant for more than 20 years. I admire her stealthy ambition to endure so many years of an unpredictable line of work.

I have survived yet another week of waitress life, and have lived to tell more tales.

More fine things to come...

- Farah

My Apologies

It's been two days since I have gotten the chance to write. I even missed my substitute Sarcasm Sunday, but let me tell you why briefly. 

I worked on assignments all day Saturday and ran errands with a friend. Then I worked from 3 p.m. Saturday night (valentine's dinner crowd) until 1 a.m. Sunday morning! Then I worked on finishing my homework on Sunday during the day until I had to go to work again at 3:45 p.m. and worked until midnight. I'm just a little tired and running low on sleep. food and a normal life.

Please forgive me, find in your heart if you can. I hope to return tomorrow with a fresh mind and more fine tings for you. I will be sharing a few stories for Week 2 Sarcasm Saturday this week. That's a promise!

Think happy and realizing thoughts.

More fine things to come...

Friday the 13th Full of Love

So as many may have realized, today is Friday the 13th...Ooooh! Are you scared? Well, you shouldn't be. Today could be no different than any other day. Although, I want to take a minute and say that everyone should take a moment of silence for the airplane crash in Buffalo. To my knowledge there was a woman on the plane who lost her husband in 9/11. Scary things do happen and we should all give the ones we love a big hug today, but not because Valentine's Day is coming up, but because every day should be a day of celebrating love.

OK. So, I promised a good story today and you're going to get one as promised. Five years ago today was the first Valentine's Day I spent with my husband and it was wonderful. I had a track meet that day too. I finished first in the mile race that I ran, only to have my college roommate delaying me from returning to my room afterwards. Hmmm, I should have been more suspicious.

Anyway, she finally gave me permission to walk back to the dorms and go to room. Well, to my surprise, there was a nice gift bag and rose petals at the foot of my bed. My then boyfriend got me a DVD of my favorite movie and promised a dinner together because we wouldn't be able to celebrate on the 14th. I enjoyed that simple gesture because it was thoughtful and not too outrageous.

My husband was a pitcher for the university's team and was scheduled to have a shoulder surgery on his pitching arm the next day. Hence, we aren't big fans of Valentine's Day. Honestly, I never was a big fan, because the whole day gets out of hand. I think people lose sight of the fact that they should express their love for friends and family all the time, not just on the 14th day of February.

Also, you can probably guess that the Feb. 14 is pretty damn busy at the restaurant, which is another reason I haven't been a fan recently. I will extra sassy stories about the naughty guests, don't you worry. As a side note, Sarcasm Saturday will technically be Sarcasm Sunday for this week only...or unless I change the rules again. I don't work a dinner shift tonight so the stories won't be that great, but tomorrow night will be a gold mine for insanity.

Even though I'm not Valentine's crazy, I wish you all a wonderful weekend and ask that you always treat the ones you love like they're special, not just because Hallmark told us to.

All for love, love for one.

More fine things to come...

- Farah

Another Long Day

Rocky may have been under the weather last week, but now it's my turn to feel yucky. It really is a shame because I have a tremendous amount of work to get done for school and my internship.

Enough on that. I am off to bed to recover and I promise a more enthusiastic persona for tomorrow, the very exciting Friday the 13th.

I have a loving story about it that involves surgery, but that's no the loving part. Read on tomorrow and you will see.

More fine things to come...

- Farah

Waiting in the Rain

Somewhere between a blizzard and a few flurries, the city now has a light blanket of rain. I'm not sure this will last, matter of fact, I know won't last. It's really too bad that I couldn't completely enjoy the warm weather the day began with because I was rudely blind-sided by a rainy afternoon.

It was 't just the rain, but the waiting in the rain that put me in a foul mood. My bus was "scheduled" (also a loosely used term) to come to my stop by 2 p.m. However, I was pleasantly surprised again to have it come at 2:20 p.m. Isn't that just swell?

So I am a little pissy today, I will admit that my fussiness got a bit out of hand once I had to stand on the bus while nobody moved over. Must I ask, where are the bus manners? Where is Rocky when I need him? Oh right, he's at home waiting for me to return.

Oh well, I have been home for a little while now and can't complain. Our water heater broke and someone came over to fix it, which is a relief. After all my woes for this Wednesday, I am extremely thankful for willing maintenance professionals that work with your schedule and fix the problem at hand. God bless you.

More fine things to come...

- Farah

Rocky & His Worries

I had a few instances today where the status of the economy slapped me in the face. And then I came home to find Rocky more excited than ever to see me. It's his carefree spirit that brought me back to Earth and out of my frustration. I know animals don't have financial woes like humans, but I bet that he has many worries.

For example, if I run out of treats without a back, does he think that I don't love him anymore? I would hate to think that he does, but if he doesn't get his daily treat his dog day could be ruined in his mind. Although dogs live in "the now" as Cesar Millan says on Dog Whisperer, but I know that deep down inside there are things that rattle him and may make him dwell a bit.

Whether or not the economy gets better, it doesn't matter to Rocky. When we are tight for money, we always make sure the cats and Rocky have enough of everything. They will be taken care of, but when I think about society I am not so sure.

Through all this financial muck, the fine thing I see is the innocence that is within my pets and the 'every day is a fresh day' attitude.

What would life be like if all we did was worry?

The answer is: It would be a horrible shame.

On that note, we should be thankful for what he have now and make preparations to keep the things we care about close to our hearts.

More fine things to come...

- Farah

This Monday With No End

I am about ready to embark on my last stop for the day. A rather long meeting that I wish I could skip, so I could go home and see my husband and Rocky, of course.

Oh well. Some days are meant for hair-pulling and dried out contacts. 

I wish I could send my make-believe double to the meeting so I could relax. Just wait, there will be a day when we all have proxies.

Still wishing.

More fine things to come...

- Farah

Pinot Grigio & a Warm Fire

After a lunch shift at the restaurant, I came home to enjoy a nice dinner by the crackling fire in my living room. I had to give thanks for having a roof over my head, food in my belly, a good pup waiting for me, and a hard-working husband to come home to.

We had a few glasses of pinot grigio, my favorite vino, while we sat by the fire with Rocky. I really do like wine, it is very flavorful and quite tasty once you find the type you prefer. You must look into that also, if you're not an avid wine enthusiast. Rocky has been enjoying a braided rawhide bone for about two hours now, he pretty much has his night planned out.

It's time to start another week again tomorrow. I will be finished with this master's degree in journalism by the end of June, and I can't wait! I have to take time and realize how lucky I am to be educated and have the opportunity to write.

8:21 p.m. - Rocky has fallen sleep with his treat and I feel a nice calm come over me now. The serenity may have something to do with the pinot grigio, but you never can tell.

What a fine thing it is to feel a few minutes of relaxation in the comfort of a loving home...I hope you feel that too. I have an episode of The Office playing int he background too, my favorite show, you will probably here a lot about.

Note to self, become a fan of The Office, it is awesome. I believe they had a "Finer Things Club," it was very exclusive.

More fine things to come...

- Farah

Sarcasm Saturday Week 1

I think it is suitable to have at least one day a week where we can vent for a little bit. Needless to say, here is my venting loud and proud. To let all readers know, this will become a weekly theme which will continue on Saturdays.

I work at a restaurant, and have worked at the same company for almost 3 years, but in two states. Anyway, there have been times when guests that I have served throw me into a state of shock with their manners. I guess people forget that I am a human being with feelings and that what they say and do can be hurtful. So for those reasons I will share a few incidents that make me want to give up on humanity once and for all.

RUN, BABY RUN

I had a group of six women the other night who came in to enjoy some dinner together, sounds nice right? Wrong! I had the pleasure of running mile after mile around this table and the restaurant for their every beckon call, it was a thrill that lead to no payback.

I had one lady rolling her eyes at me constantly because the menu was not to her liking, you know...because I made the menu and the prices. Well, although that is clearly not in my job description, she took it out on me anyway to most likely excuse her behavior and her 2 percent tip.

Besides "rolly eyes" there was another lady who wanted to look and sound extra delicate by talking softer than a mime, no joke! I had to repeat my questions and ask her to repeat, heaven forbid I mess up the order and get an extra eye roll from her buddy.

Lastly, there was another woman at the table who ordered the same dish as her friend next to her. According to her expert cuisine knowledge, her friend's dish looked and tasted better than hers did. Wasn't that nice of her to complain and then eat her friend's dinner also? I thought so too.

On the same night, I had the pleasure of having a "gentleman" (I use that term loosely) say to me, "Get me some lemons now." I was shocked, and replied, "Sir, would you like some extra lemons?" Only to have him repeat himself rudely again. We went back and forth two more times until he finally said, "Oh yeah, please."

I DIGRESS

Isn't that sweet? I love when people need several reminders to act in a civil manner, it really is lovely.

OK, so the moral of the story, and the fine thing that I can scrounge from this is that these incidents remind me that I am lucky to meet some nice people here and there. Also, I hope that my witty banter helps people realize that it's not cool to treat food service employees like the cigarette you smashed under your heel before entering the restaurant.

Enough sarcasm for today.

More fine things to come...

- Farah

Pup Under the Weather

Rocky and I just came inside, I sat at my computer and he sat at my feet. All of sudden he made a terrible gurgling noise and could you guess...he threw up the better half of his Beneful breakfast. Sorry to gross anyone out, but it was awful. Before I commenced clean-up I went to his side to make sure he was OK.

I can't ever be mad at him for doing something like this, it's not the first time obviously. However many times he feels yucky and needs to send something up the shoot, I would never get to the point of being upset.

I worked for a wonderful place called Sparkles Fantastik Animal Rescue, and it re-affirmed my faith in animals and what they mean to the world. The rescue was in Pueblo, Colo. and I worked there after volunteering. The volunteering got addicting. I had to keep coming back and seeing the progress of sick animals and if any of them got adopted. Not to mention, the staff there is amazing and I haven't lost touch with those people or animals.


Rocky lived at that rescue for about seven years of his life, and he finally moved on and into my home. It's little success stories like his, that make the field of rescue worth every tough medical condition, dog scuffle or puddle of pee.

One of my favorite moments at he clinic was when a 9-year-old female Pit Bull was adopted. I must take a little credit for the adoption because I was showing the dogs available for adoption to a young woman and her son. They wanted an older dog that wouldn't need a lot of puppy training. Even though some may have thought that Darla, the longtime rescue resident would never be adopted, I always had faith because she is an excellent dog. Darla put on a show like no other that day and won the family's heart without a doubt. She was on her back getting her belly rubbed, when the woman said this was the dog.

Although it was hard to say goodbye to Darla, she needed to move on and have her own family, just like Rocky. I think that's why I feel little anger when Rocky makes a little mess here and there. Rocky has been a companion and a new sense of security when my husband is away.

Why should care about a stain that needs cleaning up, when Rocky has become a loyal and loving spirit in my life? Today's upset tummy will be easily fixed with a little spot cleaner. No harm done here.

More fine things to come...

- Farah

Paw Prints in the Snow

Winter is my least favorite season, but it does have a special place in my heart. The driveway was blanketed with the familiar dusty sheet a few months ago, and I knew that a long snowy season was ahead. Instead of huffing and puffing, tears gathered in my eyes and I had to stand back from my grief and soak in a fine moment that God blessed me with.

To my winter surprise, there were tiny little paw prints on the drive. They must have belonged to a kitten less than a month old. The prints were so tiny and so intricate, that they looked like they came from a stamp stencil. Besides the cute shape they made, there was a young innocence in then. This kitten may have been separated from its mother and now on it's on its own for good or for bad.

My animal-loving instinct made me run inside to get a plate of cat food for this lone ranger that could be taking up quarters just outside my home. Later that day, the world made me take another breather again so I could appreciate another precious soul close to me.

I took my 9-year-old Rottweiler outside so he could use the facilities in the backyard before the air turned too cold for his liking. Rocky walked at my side and went to through the gate to the backyard with a quiet swagger. I turned back to walk up the drive when my heart warmed through the chilly air. Rocky's paw prints stamped the snow alongside the young kitten's. His gargantuan prints made the kitten's look like faint patters in the powdery snow. Even though his prints were bigger and had some more life to them, his shined an innocence too, but a different kind. Rocky's prints gave voice to a dog that has been through quite a life. His innocence shows because he is 9 years old, but now living like a puppy.

Rocky has only been mine for about eight months, and he has been a treasure. Some other time I will better explain how Rocky and I came to being lifelong friends. For now, I will say that he is a wonderful dog with a heart bigger than the sky.

More fine things to come...

- Farah