Sarcasm Saturday Week 11

Let me paint you a picture:

There is a waitress, a table of four and another table of two.

The waitress, although using her best "waitress smile," is being subjected to high class and dumb questions.

The table of four, consisting of three women and one man, are making it a goal to keep me on my tinytoes. The table of two was two older ladies probably in their 60s. They were very sweet and aware of the situation only inches away from them.

If you couldn't tell, the waitress is me. So, let's cut to the chase, shall we?

I'm finally trying to get a drink order for the fab four when they want to see the lobster tank, which I show them.

"How much is a 2lb lobster?"

"Well, it's between $40 and $50 depending on what else you get."

"I ain't pain' for no $50 lobster. We're not ready."

Keep in mind, I didn't even say my name, or get to ask what they wanted to drink because of the stupid questions. By the way, lobster isn't free.

So, I proceed to get the two ladies started, while "rude beyond rude" says, "Um, excuse me mam aren't you supposed to take our salads orders?"

I excuse myself from the two ladies and try to explain it like they're 5, which is mean because there are 5 year old kids smarter than this.

"Well, we usually take down your order after you get a beverage."

"Oh OK, I was just checking."

After this, I wanted to be so grateful that these people wanted to look out for me and make sure I was doing my job right. Isn't that sweet? No, it isn't.

People like this make me hate this job and make me less fond of the human race.

One last note on this table before I burst in fury: A classic tough table clue is obvious when they ask for a cup of hot water to sanitize their silverware...you know, because theirs is so much cleaner at home.

I rest my tired and worn out case.

More fine things to come.

- Farah