Sarcasm Sunday Week 2 (A Substitute for Saturday)

I'm back! OK, that was lame, but it's true. I am back and in better style I must say. I have recuperated a bit and also had some stress-free shopping yesterday. Needless to say, I am in better shape than previously mentioned in past entries.

I am also beginning to exercise again! I was once an above-average long distance runner and I am finally at the point where I can train again. Some of my goals are to run a few 5k races this summer and reach the level I was at before an unfortunate injury I endured a few years ago.

Enough about my hopes and dreams, here is some witty events from the past few days of serving.

Let the Sarcasm Begin...

Now correct me if I'm wrong, but it's OK to eat a lobster tail like a chicken wing, right? While some might say yes, it's actually far from proper dining etiquette. If you're enjoying a meal in the privacy of your own home, please by all means eat like a piglet if you please. However, if you're eating at a public restaurant, use proper discretion when chowing down on a $40 lobster meal.

The following is a dialogue verbatim from last night's dinner service:

Me: "Did you decide on an entree sir?"

Guest: "Uh, I have a question."

Me: "Sure, I can answer it for you."

Guest: "What's in this shrimp alfredo?"

(Side note in my mind - there's probably shrimp and alfredo sauce)

Me: "Sir, it has petite shrimps with linguini and garlic alfredo sauce."

Guest: "Eww, I'll just have fried shrimp."

Why do people ask questions that have obvious answers? The meal description was a no-brainer, but who am I to judge, I'm just the idiot waitress. I wish some of you could see the looks of surprise that come across the faces of my guests when they find out I'm a graduate student, and not a stumbling buffoon.

While it's not my life's ambition to be a waitress forever, some people have chosen this to be a career and that's fine. If you enjoy doing it and can stand the sometimes unexplainable treatment form guests, then I completely recommend it. All jokes aside, it's pretty good money most of the time. I am not sure how some people do this for a career because I am going on three years at eh same restaurant and am at my wit's end. I do know a woman who has been serving at the restaurant for more than 20 years. I admire her stealthy ambition to endure so many years of an unpredictable line of work.

I have survived yet another week of waitress life, and have lived to tell more tales.

More fine things to come...

- Farah